biohacking is a hobby, not a longevity strategy

& what to do instead

I refuse to watch Don’t Die: The Man Who Wants to Live Forever. If you’re unfamiliar, Don’t Die is a Netflix documentary about Bryan Johnson, a tech entrepreneur who has invested millions into radical longevity experiments, attempting to halt—dare I say reverse—aging with an extreme biohacking regimen that includes strict diets, fistfuls of pills, rigorous tracking, and controversial procedures like plasma transfusions from his son (which is giving dystopian “blood bag” vibes a la Mad Max).

It’s weird when something you’ve known about for a long time suddenly enters the public sphere, exposing you to how the masses view something only seen and discussed by a hyper-niche group at one point.

I imagine it’s how people who were fans of Chappell Roan three years ago feel now.

Except, I’m not a fan of Bryan Johnson. Truthfully, the outer reaching of the whole biohacking movement, even as someone who’s kind of in it, makes me roll my eyes so far back in my head that I can almost see my ancestors judging me.

And now that biohacking is becoming mainstream, there are some things I need you to know about it.

First off, what even is biohacking? Honestly, the term itself casts a pretty wide net, but essentially, it’s the practice of using science, technology, and self-experimentation to optimize physical and mental performance, enhance health, and potentially extend lifespan. Biohacking practices span the gauntlet from things like sleep tracking, supplements, saunas, and meditation to red light beds, IV drips, and even gene editing.

Let me say: I’m not anti-biohacking. I actually really love it. I’ve worked in the fitness and wellness industry for over a decade—I even at one point worked at a place that was essentially a “biohacking lounge”, where I administered a lot of these technologies to people. I think the technology aspect is interesting and fun.

But I also had town great-grandmothers live past 100 and they didn’t do any of this shit.

So make no mistake—biohacking is not a longevity strategy. It’s a hobby.

the only thing to fear is fear itself

To quote the Bene Gesserit in Dune: Fear is the mind-killer. But it’s also just… a killer. Spending millions of dollars on what are surely marginal gains in life expectancy is illusory. You could die tomorrow. An AC unit could fall on your head. You could slip on ice and smack your head on the pavement. You could choke to death on your handful of pills. It seems to me that this obsession with living forever is rooted in a very unhealthy relationship with death.

Newsflash: no one gets out of here alive. It’s the only certain thing about being alive—the covenant we make when we take our first breath. To not accept death as a part of your reality is to live your life in denial. To me, death is a gift. It’s the very thing that gives life any meaning at all. The fleeting nature of life is what makes it special.

By living your life in service of not dying you are, for starters, living a lie. By denying death, you deny life itself. Accepting the impermanence of life is the thing that motivates you to savor every moment. If there were an unlimited amount of sunsets, you probably wouldn’t really give a fuck. It’s knowing that there will only be a handful of chances to see the sky transform into an ephemeral piece of art that makes it spectacular.

When death is your adversary, you cannot truly live. But also, the fear a person who spends all of their time and money on not dying must harbor. This is the ultimate irony of the whole thing: fear is detrimental to your health.

Chronic fear activates the sympathetic nervous system (the fight-or-flight branch of the autonomic nervous system), leading to the prolonged release of stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline. Over time, this weakens the immune system, increases inflammation, and raises your risk of conditions like heart disease, diabetes, and autoimmune disorders.

You’re fighting an uphill battle from the jump.

Ever heard of the nocebo effect? Much like the placebo effect, where if someone thinks their doing something that’s healing them, it likely will (which, side note, we do not talk about the placebo effect for healing enough—sometimes it’s as effective, or even more effective than the actual medication being studied, but… I digress), the nocebo effect is the opposite: if somebody holds negative expectations or beliefs about something, then the negatives will manifest themselves (the brain is WILD).

Inherent in biohacking is the belief that your body and the environment it inhabits are your adversaries, doing everything they can to try to kill you. How much of biohacking is just fighting an infinite battle with your own thoughts and beliefs? I don’t have any data to substantiate, this, but if you really want to extend your life, changing your mindset and beliefs may be far more effective than any supplement you can take.

Loneliness

Another layer of irony about this lifestyle is the isolation it causes. I can’t go out to eat because I’m not willing to eat the food the restaurant has, I can’t come over for dinner because it’s outside my fasting window. Socializing disrupts my routine. The light at the venue will disrupt my circadian rhythm. Not to mention, you become insufferable and exhausting—no one wants to be around you. Always a Debbie Downer, the people around you feel criticized and judged and you’re just not relatable.

The ironic part is that loneliness is one of the top predictors of all-cause mortality, and increases your risk of early death by 26-45%—on par with smoking 15 cigarettes a day. It also raises the risk of heart disease by 29%, stroke by 32%, dementia by 50%, and depression by 300%.

The hill just continues to get steeper.

It really makes you wonder—what the fuck is even the point of all of this?

wellness is the new status symbol

In Western countries, wellness has become the new status symbol. $30 Erewhon smoothies, $5,000 cold plunge tubs, $400 rings that track your sleep, $500 gym memberships, countless hundreds of dollars in supplements… the list goes on.

It’s not that these things are even making us healthier, necessarily. It’s that the at-home infrared sauna has become the new sports car—signaling to all that you don’t just value your health, you’ve got the resources to take it to the next level.

But the question remains: Are we truly healthier for it, or are we just indulging in a shiny new form of conspicuous consumption? There are aspects that feel less rooted in genuine self-care and more in a desire for recognition and prestige, where the pursuit of health sometimes takes a back seat to the pursuit of status. I know people who live in vans (and not in the glamorous way) who are eons healthier than people who have all the gear, tech, memberships, and supplements. In a world where wellness has become commodified, the ultimate luxury isn’t just feeling good—it’s broadcasting it.

the human zoo

Layer three in this biohacking-irony cake is that it essentially just uses technology to simulate how humans are biologically designed to live. We’ve plucked ourselves out of our natural environment, created an artificial one, and now have to use technology to put back what we lost. It’s like we’re animals in a zoo and biohacking is our “enrichment”.

We spend 90% of our time indoors, under artificial light, never getting the sunlight that our bodies evolved with and depend on for literally hundreds of biological processes—so we need red light devices and vitamin D supplements.

We never put our feet on bare earth, never getting the free electrons from the negative charge of the earth that reduce oxidative stress and inflammation—so we need PEMF Mats and glutathione supplements.

When you start to look at it this way, it all starts to seem a little bit silly. We’ve scientifically validated things humans have known for hundreds of thousands of years—but simply needing that validation is just proof of how far removed we are from our humanness.

Sure, one could argue that the extreme mismatch of our biology and environment requires extreme interventions. I don’t think we’re going back to the hunting and gathering lifestyle anytime soon (honestly though, with the advancements in tech and medicine? It sounds kind of sick). But it just adds to the laundry list of things we feel like we need to do. The pressure that we’re falling behind or never doing enough only mounts.

Instead, we could simply pare back our lifestyles and consider how we’ve evolved to live. The best part? It’s totally free. Which is probably why they hide this information in all of this tech—no one stands to profit.

Instead of:

Red light panels

PEMF mats

Blue Light Blocking Glasses

Hyperbaric Chambers

Nootropics

Wearables

Supplements

You could:

Spend as much time outside as possible, especially around sunrise and sunset

Walk barefoot on bare ground

Dim your lights after the sun goes down—light candles

Breath through your nose and build CO2 tolerance

Learn to notice the patterns of your life

Eat a variety of simple, whole foods

via @josephanew_

We are not unwell because of a lack of greens powders and NAD drips. We’re unwell because we’ve forgotten our human nature. More tech, more routines, and more protocols aren’t going to help us remember.

It begs the question—What’s it worth to live long? If your time is spent in fear and isolation, choking down supplements and keeping yourself in a padded room, never allowing yourself to enjoy the simple beauty that is the messiness of being human.

If I could live 1 month longer, but never got to eat pizza on a beach with my friends, or never went out for coffee and croissants with my husband, then let me die.

Ironically, our culture’s obsession with health is unhealthy. The United States is the most unhealthy developed nation. We’re obsessed with the perfect exercise routines, hitting protein goals, and optimizing every minute of our day, yet, we’re no healthier for it. I think this obsession with health is the very thing that makes us unhealthy: we’re focused on the wrong things. The people and cultures that live the longest aren’t doing any of these things.

My great-grandmothers ate grilled cheese sandwiches with Wonderbread, Kraft Singles, and Best Foods mayonnaise and doused themselves in hairspray and perfume. They also spent their lives farming, knitting for NICU babies, and going to church.

In our obsession, we fail to see the forest for the trees—focusing too heavily on the minutiae, filling our lives with noise, unable to take a deep breath and consider what really matters.

From my observation and experience, these are the things we should be focusing on if we want to live a long life full of the things that matter most:

Turn off your notifications— be where you are, and go deep with what and who is right in front of you. Being constantly available to every whim of the rectangle in your pocket is damaging your mental health. I promise you won’t miss anything (I wrote an in-depth piece about how I overcame phone addiction here if you want to go deeper)

Move— stop focusing on the “best” exercise and just do what you love to use your body to do. Any “exercise” should be in support of that. If you don’t enjoy it then what the fuck are we doing. Outside of of that, move your body during the day: walk as much as possible, play, and sit on the floor.

Live with purpose— this doesn’t mean to go find some grand, glorious purpose. You’ll drive yourself mad if that’s your objective. Simply be of service to others and do things on purpose.

Make real connections— overcoming the initial inertia of making friends as an adult is hard, especially in a world where it’s so easy to just stay at home and never have to interact with a single person. Long gone are the days where we lean on the collective of of our friends and neighbors for survival. However, I would argue, that we very much still do—as we’re finding in this Loneliness Epidemic. The nature of it has just evolved.

If I could impart one piece of advice, it’s to leave your house. Join a niche interest group or a club, join a recreational sports league, go to church, become a regular somewhere, strike up a conversation with a stranger. Shoot, join Bumble BBF. Because most people—especially in groups in clubs—are also looking for connection and friendship.

Make things with your hands—bake, cook, knit, throw clay, build engines, arrange flowers, make furniture, paint, draw, garden… do whatever you want, just make something real and tangible in this world (ps you don’t have, nor should you, to monetize it).

Feel your feelings—pushing shit down is bad for your health—the body keeps the score.

Get out in nature—Putting yourself in your natural environment is really good for you—who’da thunk. It lowers cortisol and increases dopamine and serotonin, lowering anxiety and depression, and improving mood, motivation, memory, and focus. It boosts your immune system, lowers inflammation and oxidative stress, improves your ability to fight infection, and even reduces the risk of cancer. Having to give people the scientifically proven reasons why going to your natural habitat is good for you feels like one of the stupidest things I’ve ever done.

Eat slow food—stop overcomplicating your diet. Eat single-ingredient food and eat locally and seasonally if you can.

Pray—or meditate or whatever you want, but we are wired for spirituality. If you want to call it God, the Universe, Allah, or Source—I don’t care, just engage in some sort of spiritual practice and connect with something greater than yourself.

Look, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t love my red light panel and taking supplements. I sauna every chance I get, I use wearables on occasion and mind my light exposure. I’d love to have a sauna and gym at my house. But to me, these things are fun. I find enjoyment in self-experimentation. I really enjoy the lifestyle aspect of it. We don’t live in the dark ages, and I find utilizing the things that science has given us to cope with living in the modern world to be interesting, and they certainly make me feel better in many aspects.

But make no mistake—these things aren’t what make a long and healthy life. They’re simply cheap imitations of the real thing. You can make steps towards living a long and vibrant life, right now, without spending a penny. You only need to ask how you were biologically designed to live.