I miss smoking. Maybe I'll start a smoking wellness community. We'll sit around puffing and posting pics to the 'gram but no one will know anyone else's name and we'll all secretly believe we're better than the other smokers. I just have to figure out how to monetize it. 🚬💵😉
Oh my god, like you have just nailed it. I don't live in that wellness world and im of a different generation but i see it happening all around me. I just read 'Four Thousand Weeks'- Time Management for Mortals by Oliver Burkeman and he gets down into this nitty gritty of just stop trying to optimize your life and start living a life shared with other humans. I think the coming disasters and chaos will really illuminate those who are alone without true 'community' to lean on and those that are still part of a 'shared fabric of life' (god even that phrase now sounds trite). 'Bowling Alone' by Putnam from decades ago saw the breakdown of community in the demise of institutions that held people together before our lives became completely commodified and atomised. Keep up the great work Erin. Always love when i have time to click in and read one of your posts. Keepin' it real! much solidarity from over here in Australia.
It’s crazy how the world had been rewired, community used to be something that happens naturally when we did our normal socialising, meeting others, and having regular family/friend dinners.
Don’t you think it’s almost a path to a digitalisation of us? All this optimising self care?
The other thought I had about self care was that many people “do it” because the online world needs to see that they are worthy?
Thank you for writing this Erin I enjoyed reading it.
The instagrammification of community and the lameness of the ideal one is the crux of this. It inhibits people from going and finding theirs while romanticizing over the fakeness of another’s. There is almost a barrier of entry to find one’s thing or tribe. So, smoke em if you got em
This was such a good article and I wholeheartedly agree, I always thought something was up with those coffee discos and you’ve put it so nicely. Who cares about optimising your life, you will live an extra 10 years maybe than everyone else yes but you won’t be able to go out and have actual fun in those 10 years, you may as well have your fun now. Don’t let Big Capitalism win and go smoke and drink guys 🥳🥳🥳
Smoking is the one thing that will calm an oncoming anxiety attack - no questions asked. It helps me make friends at parties and keeps me regular (ifykyk). I like to think of it as my version of a "sweet treat" as most sweet treats hurt my stomach. All's to say that true "wellness" is a very grey area. Anyone who tells you otherwise is trying to sell you something...
Super interesting stuff. For me, I think social media is largely to blame (again). The more you're on it, the more you see these wellness trends and self-care hacks. And perhaps the more you rewire your brain to think of these normal human behaviors as trends and hacks. And maybe that's what's getting in the way of actual community - going to, as you say, "check it off the list" or for appearances doesn't exactly put you in the headspace to connect with people on a genuine level.
I’ve been following you for a long time because you cut through the BS. It’s refreshing!
I see this side of “community” all the time. It’s always gated by transaction.
Transaction is the opposite of community. Community is giving and receiving. Building trust by sharing.
When everything is tied to status, it becomes hollow. Destructive. Rotten.
The hidden danger of demonizing all of these though is that there are others, like myself, where places like this are the only outlet I have.
Community, true community, is most fulfilling in person, but some places we are so out of place that those who would be willing are hiding and are too afraid to stick out our necks.
So we rely on places like this to try and build something, anything, even it’s just crumbs of what true communities would be.
Maybe instead of that word we need to come up with a new one. Kinships. Clans. Tribes. Something that the name makes you have skin in the game.
I love that and totally agree! These things definitely aren’t all bad and can definitely be the seeds of community, and crumbs are definitely better than nothing
Sorry, third comment — I commented as I read (bad practice). I’ve noticed the past few years that whatever is going on culturally means that as soon as we name something and point to it, it doesn’t take much to become an idol, or its opposite, a thing that is everything we should chase or everything we should run away from. Those may even be the same thing in two “opposing” parties. Online discourse & social media is a big part of that — I don’t see how we can completely avoid that pit while still remaining in these spaces.
You should only smoke if you enjoy it. Thats the hack. Mary Poppins had it right, a spoonful of sugar and whatnot. "You find the fun, and snap, the jobs a game". Im going to have to go and reread what you wrote because Im just waking up from a night of going out dancing when I should have been sleeping to better optimize my life, how droll. How dull. How predictable and boring. No vitality kills you. But I think you get it. We were not built just to run smooth. Ruff raw living keeps you regenerating. You cant commodify fun, but the machine is trying. Ive found that being well means wanting to be alive and being alive has to be worth it. Smoking is the new 300$ a month club. Members only.
I miss smoking. Maybe I'll start a smoking wellness community. We'll sit around puffing and posting pics to the 'gram but no one will know anyone else's name and we'll all secretly believe we're better than the other smokers. I just have to figure out how to monetize it. 🚬💵😉
I miss smoking too! 😭 Mustn't go back to puffing away as I have discovered since giving up that I've got asthma. But still.... *Lovely fags*
Oh my god, like you have just nailed it. I don't live in that wellness world and im of a different generation but i see it happening all around me. I just read 'Four Thousand Weeks'- Time Management for Mortals by Oliver Burkeman and he gets down into this nitty gritty of just stop trying to optimize your life and start living a life shared with other humans. I think the coming disasters and chaos will really illuminate those who are alone without true 'community' to lean on and those that are still part of a 'shared fabric of life' (god even that phrase now sounds trite). 'Bowling Alone' by Putnam from decades ago saw the breakdown of community in the demise of institutions that held people together before our lives became completely commodified and atomised. Keep up the great work Erin. Always love when i have time to click in and read one of your posts. Keepin' it real! much solidarity from over here in Australia.
Thank you!
I feel like you’re the fourth person who’s brought up Bowling Alone to me in comments recently—guess it’s a sign I should add it to my list!
It’s crazy how the world had been rewired, community used to be something that happens naturally when we did our normal socialising, meeting others, and having regular family/friend dinners.
Don’t you think it’s almost a path to a digitalisation of us? All this optimising self care?
The other thought I had about self care was that many people “do it” because the online world needs to see that they are worthy?
Thank you for writing this Erin I enjoyed reading it.
One MILLION percent to all of this.
incredible. thank you for this.
The instagrammification of community and the lameness of the ideal one is the crux of this. It inhibits people from going and finding theirs while romanticizing over the fakeness of another’s. There is almost a barrier of entry to find one’s thing or tribe. So, smoke em if you got em
YES. This is absolutely the crux of this conversation
This was such a good article and I wholeheartedly agree, I always thought something was up with those coffee discos and you’ve put it so nicely. Who cares about optimising your life, you will live an extra 10 years maybe than everyone else yes but you won’t be able to go out and have actual fun in those 10 years, you may as well have your fun now. Don’t let Big Capitalism win and go smoke and drink guys 🥳🥳🥳
Grrrrrrrllllll.
Smoking is the one thing that will calm an oncoming anxiety attack - no questions asked. It helps me make friends at parties and keeps me regular (ifykyk). I like to think of it as my version of a "sweet treat" as most sweet treats hurt my stomach. All's to say that true "wellness" is a very grey area. Anyone who tells you otherwise is trying to sell you something...
This piece is pure gold 🔥 (which is, actually, also a shame, how did we end up here 😭)
love this!!
Super interesting stuff. For me, I think social media is largely to blame (again). The more you're on it, the more you see these wellness trends and self-care hacks. And perhaps the more you rewire your brain to think of these normal human behaviors as trends and hacks. And maybe that's what's getting in the way of actual community - going to, as you say, "check it off the list" or for appearances doesn't exactly put you in the headspace to connect with people on a genuine level.
Thank you - this is spot on!
Excellent writing as always.
I’ve been following you for a long time because you cut through the BS. It’s refreshing!
I see this side of “community” all the time. It’s always gated by transaction.
Transaction is the opposite of community. Community is giving and receiving. Building trust by sharing.
When everything is tied to status, it becomes hollow. Destructive. Rotten.
The hidden danger of demonizing all of these though is that there are others, like myself, where places like this are the only outlet I have.
Community, true community, is most fulfilling in person, but some places we are so out of place that those who would be willing are hiding and are too afraid to stick out our necks.
So we rely on places like this to try and build something, anything, even it’s just crumbs of what true communities would be.
Maybe instead of that word we need to come up with a new one. Kinships. Clans. Tribes. Something that the name makes you have skin in the game.
I love that and totally agree! These things definitely aren’t all bad and can definitely be the seeds of community, and crumbs are definitely better than nothing
Sorry, third comment — I commented as I read (bad practice). I’ve noticed the past few years that whatever is going on culturally means that as soon as we name something and point to it, it doesn’t take much to become an idol, or its opposite, a thing that is everything we should chase or everything we should run away from. Those may even be the same thing in two “opposing” parties. Online discourse & social media is a big part of that — I don’t see how we can completely avoid that pit while still remaining in these spaces.
“Love thy neighbor as thyself”. It’s both and. One needs the other, both in perfect harmony feeding each other.
You should only smoke if you enjoy it. Thats the hack. Mary Poppins had it right, a spoonful of sugar and whatnot. "You find the fun, and snap, the jobs a game". Im going to have to go and reread what you wrote because Im just waking up from a night of going out dancing when I should have been sleeping to better optimize my life, how droll. How dull. How predictable and boring. No vitality kills you. But I think you get it. We were not built just to run smooth. Ruff raw living keeps you regenerating. You cant commodify fun, but the machine is trying. Ive found that being well means wanting to be alive and being alive has to be worth it. Smoking is the new 300$ a month club. Members only.